One step ahead
and you’re behind.
A tired foot
does carry you.
Your partner’s back
is worn down more.
Together you have seen a lot:
you’ve walked in mud;
you’ve treaded dust;
the rains have washed
the dirt from you;
you by the sun
were dried.
The carriers
found rest by now;
they move
no more.
You lie there still
as well.
You are the legacy
of her.
No other feet
will walk in you,
so you shall move
no more.
Prompt: Describe a pair of shoes in such a way that a reader will think of death. do not mention death in the poem.
UPD:
Here's Gail's (my professor) response:
There is a strond mood of loss + endings in this poem, created by the language. It's a little confusing to me to have "you" refer to two different subjects. Also, I'm not sure, if I hadn't read the prompt, if I'd know that shoes are a focus of th epoem - it's a little elusive + inderect. Also- it's a lot to ask of a shoe to be "the legacy of her." What makes the shoe so important as to be a legacy?
Gail aslo said "great opeing lines!" for the first two.
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17.11.2006 в 06:57-
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17.11.2006 в 23:17