Lamenting deception
“They say just follow your heart but what if it lies...”
- Paul Colman Trio \ Run
How could you, oh how could you?
I ask you why and why?
You answer not. Unfeeling.
You’re meant to be my guidance,
Yet you betray, deceive and lie.
Only from you my troubles are.
I want to say “I hate you”.
I do, I do, and I do!
Why do you, oh why do you
Keep on tormenting me?
I can’t bear any longer
The agony of this…
This misery of turning
From God, my saving force.
You guide me from
My Father.
How could it be,
Oh heart?
Oh, torment, this is torment!
I cannot live like this!
Enticed into such sweetness
Yet treachery awaits
Beyond the shadows there.
There were no saint should venture
You pull me there so gently.
You are a liar, heart;
A clever one at that!
How could you so deceive me?
Why should you, tell me, why?
How could I follow you now,
When you’re no longer true?
My enemy you are now,
The one that is within.
So villainous a torment
Why should it be endured?
Oh, yes I do, I know it
To be aware of you
And of your tricks upon me.
I find no will to stand firm
Upon the ground of truth;
You lure me into shadows
Of doubtful enterprises.
I follow you. Oh blindness!
How could you blind me so?
My weakness is my blindness
At moments of enticement.
Please, tell me, heart,
Do you regret it
Even a little if at all?
Do you feel sorry for the soul
That you deceive to be in sin?
At least could be repentant,
Please, tell me, are you such?
How could you, oh how could you?
Are you pitying or pleased
For bringing my destruction?
Please say that you regret.
Prompt: Write a poem addressed to some part of your body. Be sure that the poem displays a strong feeling and a consistent attitude. In other words, do you want to curse, bless, question, invoke this part of your body?
What do you say for an honest poem?
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21.11.2006 в 21:35Initial reaction is after first reading (the author reads out loud). Then after reading again the responders answer quesions of the poem evaluation sheet.
Lindsay
Initial reaction -
Beautiful language, flows really smoothly. It seems to be about someone who is not trusting their own heart although I'm unsure of exactly why even though there are hints.
Question responses -
* Telling about mistrust of one's own heart, author has lots of questions and lots of doubt.
* I loved your language. Beautiful vocabulary and pairing of words. Everything flows wonderfully.
* Improvements - none
* This seems so deep of a topic and really makes the reader think and contemplate the issues being brought up. It's complicated but seems like something a reader can relate to.
Sarah
Initial reaction -
A poem of a person who follows her heart and is hurt over and over.
Question responses -
* Express how her heart has lead her astray.
* Best features the word use and flow. the blunt honesty of how your heart can hurt you.
* (improvements) --
* So true for so many. Follows the prompt very well.
Tim
Initial reaction -
My initial reaction was someone talking to another person, then for awhile I thought the person was talking to God, then I realized they were talking to their own heart.
Question responses -
a) the poet is speaking to their own heart, bemoaning how wicked & deceitful the heart really is, a lot more than the TV says.
b) The words are so majestic & hold so much truth.
c) No, I don't think the poem could be improved, exept maybe that the author could say that the world we live in now, though we are to enjoy it (in a godly fashion), it is not what we are to live for. We are to live for Heaven, God's kingdom.
d) The poem is magnificent. Love it.
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28.11.2006 в 23:07This is a very interesting idea, Anna, to talk to the heart - the heart that has lied and deceived. I like how the "you" being addressed doesn't get revealed for a couple of stanzas - and then rather obliquely.
For me, the poem stays too much on the level of abstractions, and it's hard to feel drawn into the narrator's truth. I'm not emotionally impacted by lines like "why do you" nad "how could you". Since these are like that we utter and hear all the time, unless I'm grounded in some concrete experience unique to the narrator, I don't feel the pain of betrayal that the narrator feels.
She also liked the opening quote